Tuesday, July 31, 2007

OTL: Week 10

I completely forgot to do a recap of last week’s “On the Lot”. Frankly, there really wasn’t a whole lot to say, Carrie Fisher’s behavior was way more interesting than the shorts. What was up with the fake makeout sessions with the other judges?

As much as I like his stuff, I think Zack could be a goner tonight because the subpar “The Bonus Feature”. Just wasn’t much of a romantic comedy. Hopefully, he has enough of a following. Sam (“American Hoe”) might be sent packing as well.

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Story Starters

Two posts in one day? I must be on some kind of roll...

It's raining worms! Hallelujah!

Man's face infected with bugs

Man with headache discovers bullet in head

Oscar the "grim rea-purr"

Spiders save teen from fire

Truth found in tales of monster fish

R U That Somebody?

Genetically enhanced supermodel seeks submissive male who enjoys holding hands, video games, fighting blood-thirsty zombies and foraging for supplies in abandoned cities. Proficiency with knives and firearms a plus! No smokers please.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Is J-Horror dead?

While watching “Purei”, I couldn’t shake this eerie feeling that a flock of vultures were somewhere behind me, calmly nestled in the shadows. Their ravenous eyes fixed on the television screen, waiting for the end credits to roll so they could swoop down and feast on a film that was dead on arrival -- been doing a little work on my imagery...

I usually gush over Asia Extreme’s movies but this is gonna be the exception. It starts out well enough, kidnappers snatch a little girl on her way home from school. When they ring up her folks, looking for a ransom, the girl’s parents inform them that their daughter died a year ago. Spooky pause. Not bad, right? Unbelievably, it manages goes downhill from there. Fast.

A really short movie filled with easily recognizable J-horror cliches: creepy little girls, pointless plot twists, flashbacks, dumb coincidences, and abandoned buildings. Made me start to wonder if the genre is dead. Most of the films I’ve seen this year haven’t been very good. Odd, sure but mostly forgettable. I pretty much think J-horror remakes are dead. After multiple attempts, I still haven’t managed to sit through “Pulse”. And I can’t imagine “The Eye” with Jessica Alba being any good.

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

OTL: Week 9

The final two female contestants got the boot. No surprises there. I was never a big fan of Hilary’s work but she does have talent. Maybe she’s better suited for sitcoms. Shalani seems interested in telling small, intimate stories rather than the fluffy and buttery popcorn fare that the masses gobble up cough*Transformers*cough*. Out of the all last night’s shorts, I really liked Jason’s “Sweet” and Mateen’s “Catch”. Their films stood out because they used action to flesh out the characters.

Monday, July 16, 2007

Bloody Hell!

Dust off those vampire screenplays ‘cause it looks like suckheads are hot again! Torture porn's appeal is finally starting to wane. "Captivity" made a measly 1.4 million in its opening weekend. And last month, "Hostel 2" seriously underperformed. Hey, Eli Roth. You can't blame it all on piracy. Stephen King's "1408" is doing just fine.

Anyway, “30 Days of Night” hits theaters in October and further down the road, Alex Proyas is set to helm “Dracula: Year Zero”. Ernest Dickerson is going to direct “The Undead”. It’s the first official sequel to Bram Stoker’s “Dracula” and was approved by the Stoker Estate. Plus, Monica Bellucci is going to be in it. Need I say more?

Been quiet the last couple of days, hovering around page 80 of the werewolf spec. Slow and steady as she goes. Well, mostly slow. Watched a bit of “Supergator” in all its cheesy Sci-Fi Channel glory. I think I stumbled on to a pretty good idea for a monster-of-the-week movie. Will have to start making notes for that.

Thank God for new episodes of “Dr. Who”, “Eureka” and “The 4400” or else I’d be getting caught up in stuff like the “Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament” on ESPN 2.

BTW, "Burn Notice" aint half bad either.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

OTL: Week 8

Monday’s episode was pretty meh, which is probably the reason I’m writing about it two days after the fact. Even Zach’s “Time Upon A Once” was a little dull. I don’t think I can muster the effort to comment on the other shorts except to say they were just okay.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Black Sheep

One of the funniest trailers you’ll ever see. Genetically altered sheep running amok. Not in the same league as “Shaun of the Dead” but similar structure -- even copies a scene or two. For the longest time, I couldn’t put my finger on why I didn’t enjoy the film more. I mean, the special effects are pretty good, lots of over the top action/gore, funny bits of dialogue... and then it hit me: passive protagonist. The sheep attack, he barely escapes. The sheep attack again, he barely escapes again. And so on, and so on. Makes the movie seem more like a bunch of short skits sewn together and less like a cohesive story. In “Shaun”, the protagonist was constantly making choices. Sure, they were dimwitted choices, but choices nonetheless.

Wednesday, July 04, 2007

On the Lot: Week 7

“Nerve Endings” had the most votes last week?? I don’t get you America.

I was a little disappointed that a lot of the films relied on gore and special effects, instead of building suspense. Most of the endings/twists were pretty ineffective...

“The Malibu Myth” - zombies blogging. Funny. Tatyana Ali two weeks in a row?! And the guy who used to be the kid on “Kate and Allie”! It must truly suck to be a former child star. The tag saved a predictable story. Probably would’ve worked better at night.

“Ankle-biter” - the judges liked this and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. The Rod Serling-like voice over didn’t add a heck of a whole lot and there’s no payoff. The monster attacks the boy. The cops show up and the monster is waiting under the table. Yeah, so?

“Midnight Snack” - at least the monsters looked cool. Lame payoff. She’s a monster too? Why is she making sandwiches?

“Eternal Waters” - well shot, but once the burglar showed up, you could see the ending a mile away.

“Open House” - who would play musical chairs with a ghost? Made no sense and wasn’t remotely scary.

“Profile” - Dear Mateen, vampires and werewolves are fantasy but they can also be powerful metaphors. You decided to pooh-pooh all that and beat us over the head with an incoherent message. I think you’re outta here.

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Spider Forest

The Sundance Channel is running it tonight at midnight as part of their Asia Extreme series. It’s kind of like “Memento” meets “The Sixth Sense”. The victim of a hit and run is somehow connected to a double-murder that took place near a supposedly haunted forest. “Spider Forest” has one of those trippy twist endings that messes with your head but in a good way.


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