Wednesday, June 27, 2007

OTL: Week 6

They didn’t make last week’s contestants squirm in their director’s chairs for the hour. Quick and painless elimination. No real surprise here. Jessica and her “horror” movie from the “P.O.V. of a tree” were sent packing. By tomorrow, I’ll remember Adrianna Costa’s legs more than the shorts so while they’re still fresh in my mind....

“Dr. In-Law” - funny. Not a gut buster but solid. For someone who’s supposedly scared of directing comedy, I thought Shalani was more than fine.

“Nerve Endings” - nice bit of dark humor. Effective.

“Discovering the Wheels” - didn’t make a whole lot of sense, no real payoff but a few good jokes here and there.

“Under the Gun” - Probably Hilary’s best short, but that’s not saying a whole heck of a lot. America, please send her home.

“How to have a girl” - Meh. Probably was funnier on paper.

“Die Hardly Working” - just give Zach the million already. He kicked butt this week without using special effects.

Next week: horror films!

Saturday, June 23, 2007


For some strange reason, I get a ton of visitors from Germany. Maybe I’ve got a certain European sensibility to my writing that they can’t get enough of... or maybe they’re just looking for pics of uber babe Jill Wagner from “Blade: The Series”. Heads up to my German readers, “Blade: House of Chthon” hits the streets in September! It’s just an 83 minute, uncut episode but I’m guessing it’ll have amped up gore and nudity. There’s a commentary track that includes David Goyer, might be worth checking out, if I can get it on the cheap.

On another note, I suck. I’m nearing the third anniversary of this blog and I’m way behind my preset goals. I was supposed to be hanging out with the beautiful people at this point -- or at least be in leering proximity. Started off the year on the wrong foot and my productivity has been off ever since. Things aren’t totally awful. Worse case scenario is that the werewolf spec is the only thing I finish in ‘07. I do feel good about the screenplay. I just *really* want to be done with it because it’s taking for-freaking-ever to finish. Did some digging around for some help on writing action scenes. This oldie but goodie article was pretty useful:

The rhetoric of action

Got some simplified, low budget script ideas that I want to implement before the year is up. Try as I might, the Zombie spec just ain’t low budget. Don’t want to get sidetracked either. Must. Resist. Urge. To write “Supernatural” spec. What!? I might have ripped it once or twice, but this season wasn’t that bad -- except for the no frills werewolf episode.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

OTL: Week 5

Why waste Wes Craven last night when you’re eventually going to do some horror shorts? Who’s gonna be the guest judge that night, Judd Apatow?

“Glass Eye” - Dragged on a bit. Who didn’t know the dog was going to swallow the eye? Interesting shots, well put together.

“Blood Born” - The shaky cam stuff got on my nerves a few times. The actors were a little off in their delivery but I loved the concept.

“Sunshine Girl” - This competition is Zach’s to lose. Great special effects that didn’t overshadow the simple story. He could have been a little more creative with the shots of the girl looking under the bed, made it more scary.

“Lost” - A talking head scene. Good dialogue. Boring visuals. Not a good calling card for a director.

“The Orchard” - Awful. Excruciating to watch. Worst short of the series.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

OTL: Week 4

The only suspense surrounding this show is how much longer it’ll stay on the air and who Adrianna will hook up with when it’s over, although her plunging neckline might have snagged a couple extra channel surfers tonight. Anyways, on to the films...

“Polish” - seemed a little too long to me. Good set up, decent payoff.

“Love at First Shot” - pleasant but predictable.

“Beeline” - I thought Shira-Lee’s kid was an awful actor. Good execution, so-so story.

“Dance with the Devil” - A lot like his first film, very trailer-like. Marty is too slick for his own good. Not exactly lacking in the confidence department either.

“Edge on the End” - looked like it belonged on Fuse or MTV. Well done, but I could do without all the angsty stuff and corpse hugging.

I’m gonna go with “Polish”, the best out of an average bunch. If there ever is a second season, how about having the directors shoot films based on the same script? Let the directors direct and bring in some writers to write for them. Sounds crazy enough to work. BTW, can't believe Hilary made the cut...

Monday, June 11, 2007


What if “Groundhog’s Day” had been an action flick? You’d probably end up with “Next”. Read the script a few months back. Cool premise: a guy who can see a few minutes in the future, but the story itself is pretty under whelming. All Cris Johnson wants is a family cause he was a lonely orphan. He’s sterile but has visions of meeting a woman who will eventually bear his child. Meanwhile, terrorists are about to set off a bomb and this uptight government agent needs a remote viewer to help find them. Cris knows (sees) that if the government gets their hands on him, they’ll never let go. The cops want him for the murder of a guy -- who would’ve robbed a store and shot up a bunch of folks. Cris refuses to run because he’s waiting to meet *that*, yeah.
Cris has one of the strangest character motivations I’ve seen in what’s supposed to be a testosterone charged, explosion filled and stunts galore flick. The protag just wants to find Miss Right and settle down? Are you kidding me? A clumsy attempt to broaden the target audience? Straight-action flicks have gone the way of the dodo. Muscle-bound dudes with monosyllabic vocabularies and/or thick accents just don’t pack ‘em in like they used to. Audiences aren’t interested unless your protagonist has super powers, cool clothes, knows kung-fu or all of the above.
The script clocks in at a whopping 137 pages, but it’s actually a pretty breezy read. Lots of descriptive action sequences -- probably better than the stuff that ended up on screen. I will say that the third act is one huge cop out and leave it at that. Another head scratcher, Nick Cage does “Ghost Rider” earlier this year and it makes 200 million globally but “Next” can only muster 17 million in the States -- and that’s with hottie Jessica Biel as the female lead. Makes you wonder how much influence these stars really have on audiences.

Thursday, June 07, 2007


This is the real deal but I think prefer the fake one. If I didn’t know anything about the movie, I doubt this would get me all excited. Will Smith can sell just about anything these days. Slapping his name on top in big, bold letters is probably all that’s needed.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

OTL: Week 3

Went from twice a week to just one. Changed nights too. This ship is sinking fast. If it was on Bravo or the Sci-Fi channel (they’d figure out a way to make the concept work), the ratings would probably be acceptable... I thought the wedding ring in the toilet short was very sitcomish, but the director came up with some creative shots and a decent ending. Didn’t care for the “Meet the Parents” rip off. My least favorite. I actually found myself agreeing with Michael Bay a few times and it scared the bejesus out of me. Carrie Fisher and Gary Marshall don’t have a lot to offer in terms of constructive criticism. The blind date short was totally uninspired. Really disappointed me because I liked his previous film about the golfer. I’m not a fan of musicals, so I passed on that one. The documentary about the gay comedian was good. The director took a chance and did something outside the box. Will this show even make it to week four? Stay tuned... or not.

Friday, June 01, 2007

Most Haunted Live

The “Most Haunted” team has come across the pond! They’re in a haunted penitentiary tonight... until dawn! ZOINKS! This has got to be the funniest show on television. I’ve got an idea for a script that involves paranormal investigators so I’ll be taking plenty of notes throughout the night.


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