Sucks To Be You

I didn’t have high expectations going into the premiere of “Blade: The Series”, but I gave it a shot. Capturing the essence of a big budget movie and squishing it into a medium-sized box for weekly viewing is a daunting task. Sure, it worked for “Buffy”(the most obvious comparison), but “Blade”... not so much.

The “Blade” movies focused on over the top special effects and action scenes, headlined by a stoic, bad ass protagonist. You didn’t see me use phrases like compelling characters, memorable dialogue or great storytelling, which are the main ingredients of good television. “Blade: The Series” thinks it’s a movie, so it tries to go about it’s business that way. Kirk “Sticky Fingaz” Jones is a decent actor but he’s no Wesley Snipes (even though Wes has been sleepwalking his way through Hollywood for the last decade). The fact that “Sticky” seems lacking in the martial arts department (and looks stiff as a board) doesn’t help his cause. Jill Wagner definitely fits the bill as the hot chick, but was shaky in the acting department. On the plus side, Neil Jackson and Randy Quaid brought some much needed credibility to their respective roles.

Anyway, the plot goes something like this: Krista joins forces with Blade, to take down Marcus, the vamp who killed her brother. She fails in her initial attempt and is turned into a suckhead. With the use of Blade’s serum, Krista is able to resist “the thirst” as she tries defeat the vampire organization from within. Trust me, it sounds a lot better than it was.

We’re in the dog days of summer when it comes to television, so there’s not a lot of competition out there. I’m sure it did well in the ratings, but I’m not sure for how long.

Half-Light

I don’t know what possessed me (ha-ha) to order this Demi Moore supernatural thriller on PPV a few months back. The “world premiere” on TNT last night only added insult to injury. Not much to say here except this: if you’re in a relationship with someone and no one can corroborate said relationship, there’s a pretty good chance you’re crazy, being duped or haunted. Not a bad movie (great scenery), but you realize something isn’t quite right, long before it dawns on the protagonist. These days, it doesn’t take a whole lot to get the audience’s Shyamalan sense tingling.

Story Starters

Bird Flu as a bioweapon?

Calm returns to school terrorized by demons.

Crimminology students find real dead body.

Man sends colleague venomous spider.

Mummy robs bank.

New species of shark discovered in US waters.

Paranormal business is booming.

Bump in the type

Just started reading the “Supernatural” pilot via simplyscripts.com. Not bad. Scriptapalooza TV is now accepting entries. Hmmmm, maybe I should start a self-imposed teleplay in two weeks challenge. Nah, I’ll save that for the Fall. Still have an overdone pilot script that needs tinkering (I’m pretty sure I can throw a kitchen sink in there).
Finally got out of my funk with the werewolf spec. I’m really behind schedule at this point. The Screamfest final deadline is in August and that seems like a reasonable amount of time for most people but I’m not most people. I’m someone who needs a big, comfy, neurotic cushion to work with.

Troubled Waters

Took a double dip of “Dark Water” over the weekend. Something must have gotten lost in translation (no pun intended) because the American version borders more on psychological thriller rather than horror. The story goes something like this: a recently separated mother and daughter, move into an apartment with a leaky ceiling from the haunted apartment upstairs.
Not a whole heck of a lot happens that most people would consider even remotely scary. Jennifer Connelly has a spooky dream *drip* her daughter plays with an “imaginary friend” *drip* the creepy super refuses to fix the leak *drip* *drip* a missing little girl’s backpack keeps appearing/disappearing *drip* maybe Jennifer Connelly is crazy and it’s rubbing off on her daughter, like her own mom did to her *drip* teenage punks ogle Connelly *drip* maybe her ex-husband is behind it all! *drip* No wait! The imaginary friend is a ghost! *SPLAT*
The plot is basically the same in the Japanese version, but it’s not pretending to be Masterpiece Theater, so you get better payoffs. Much better final act.

We Can Be Heroes

The website for Spike TV’s “Blade: The Series” is up here. Judging by the number of folks who stumbled on to my blog from an old entry, the show has pretty decent buzz.



While everyone is waiting for Superman to Return, the Movie Blog hipped me to a site that has some info on the "Superman Lives" project. The screenplay was penned by Kevin Smith (under duress) and was supposed to be directed by Tim Burton. Thankfully, this turkey never got off the ground. The concept art is freaky enough. I’ve never read the “sacrilegious” J.J. Abrams’ “Superman” script that angered many a fanboy, but I’m curious to see how (or if) Brian Singer can breathe some life back into this franchise.

Skeleton Key

Finally watched “Skeleton Key” over the weekend. I knew the “twist” beforehand so I wasn’t able to get the full effect, but the movie is a good lesson in creating atmosphere. We’re talking old school horror here. No gore, blood or ...CGI! Mostly shadows, creaky floors, lightning, ominous music and solid performances from the cast. You could almost classify “Skeleton Key” as a thriller with supernatural overtones rather than a horror flick (almost). The surprising thing is that today’s short-attention-span-MTV-weaned-audience ate it up and the movie made a nice piece of change at the box office (around 80 million, I think). It probably didn’t hurt to have Kate Hudson occasionally investigate spooky noises in her undies either. A good but not great movie. Screenwriter Ehren Krueger talks a little about his process here.

Missing in Act II

I've been in a bit of a slump with the werewolf spec. The ACT II blues. Time would probably be better served working on the zombie and fantasy specs that I put on the back burner. In other news...

His Royal Purple Badness turned 48 today!

B-Movie Weekend

The Sci-Fi channel had an “Angel” alumni double-feature on Sunday, “The Crow: Wicked Prayer” with David Boreanaz and Charisma Carpenter in “Voodoo Moon”. I managed to catch a little bit of both. “Wicked Prayer” just didn’t have the budget to be on the scale of the previous Crow movies, but I think I understand what they were trying to accomplish. This incarnation of “The Crow” looks and feels very much like an old Western: the wronged gunslinger coming back for revenge. David is the villain while Edward “T2” Furlong is the lead (probably would have been better if they swapped roles). There’s something about a double murder/sacrifice, a 666 tattoo , Tara Reid’s character becoming psychic.... I bailed out somewhere around the time Macy Gray showed up.
“Voodoo Moon” didn’t take itself that seriously and was a heck of a lot more enjoyable (I’m pretty sure the director had a blog up at some point). You’ve got your forces of good preparing for a final battle against a great evil. Original, I know. Jeffery Combs has a hilarious part as a cop who’s not gonna let a little thing like death stop him from fighting evil. John Amos, the dad from “Good Times”, shows up as a badass biker (who knew?), ready to kick evil’s ass. Charisma plays the protag’s sister, she can draw the future. A little too much cgi in the final battle, but you know what you’re getting into with this kind of flick.


BTW, a most uneventful Day of the Beast...

Story Starters

Cow killed by mysterious predator.

Duck eats alien?

Ghost helps acquit murder suspect.

Man caught after leaving severed fingertip at scene of the crime.

Mystery disease or mass delusion?

Robot hand controlled by thought.

Televangelist has super powers.

Woman in prayer gets struck by lightning.